Angry, Sad, Happy

Today has been one emotional roller coaster of a day!  I picked up breakfast and headed to work thinking it was going to be a normal day.  The new LT begins to inform me of the night’s events.  The other LT became upset with the boss or the boss became upset with the other LT and it caused the boss to post a sign on his door telling us to figure things out on our own because our work is not his work.  The other LT wants to have a meeting with the boss regarding a lot of hypocritical events.  The boss is supposed to mentor and guide us, but when his guidance is cryptic and we aren’t allowed to ask him questions, what are we supposed to do?  We also discovered that he fought for the NCO’s to receive large awards, but said nothing when our awards were downgraded.  This is not right on a lot of levels.  This office would not run without the Battle Captains and the boss obviously does not see this and thinks of us as worthless.  Somewhere in the conversation the LT pointed out that I don’t do anything.  This angered me when I heard it.  I spent three hours conducting quality control on slides.  I have all morning to knock out my requirements in peace and quiet.  By the time everyone else arrives to work, my work is done and yes, I can sit around and blog because my work is done.  Half of my job is reactionary meaning I react to events that occur time now.  It is a good thing when I have nothing to do because that means no one is out there being injured or attacked. 

Later this morning, the movement NCO, who has not spoken to me in two weeks because of a small spat, tried to make a big deal out of something so small.  Two weeks ago, I tried to compliment a Soldier saying that he was motivated and that he brought water in and took the trash out without anyone telling him to do it.  I mentioned that it was nice to have a motivated Soldier in the shop.  The movement NCO turned it around so that it sounded like I was insulting everyone else in the shop.  I knew he was joking around, but when the boss exits his office to inform everyone that he brings in cases of water and that he contributed to the office, the insult was solidified and the Soldier did not receive his compliment.  I told the movement NCO that I was done talking for the day, mainly because I was leaving in 15 minutes for the day, but to also make a point that he hurt my feelings.  He apologized, but hasn’t so much as looked in my direction for two weeks.  Today, asked the LT if he had the new phonebook on digits to print out.  He replied that an NCO had them, but I quickly responded with, “No, actually I put all that together and printed one out for everyone.  I distributed them the other day.”  Which was true, I created, printed, cut them out all pretty, and distributed them to everyone in the office.  The movement NCO, which I specifically remember handing one to, says that I purposely did not give him one.  I offer to print him out another and he tells me again that I did it on purpose.  I told him no, that I would not do that to anyone because that is not the type of person I am.  He argues, I print and hand it to him telling him to think what he wants, I really don’t care.  A minute later, he approaches my desk and asks if I would like to join him for lunch.  My first thought was, “No, I don’t want anything to do with you,” but I knew he just wanted to make amends so I said, “Yea, I’ll go to lunch with you.” 

We went to lunch together and didn’t really talk about much because other Soldiers sat with us, but I think just the gesture of joining him for lunch was a big step in making amends.  I was really stressed out when he was just trying to joke around.  I really just want my boss to tell me if I am doing well at this job or not because every time I turn around it seems like he is upset with the office.  He does not approach people one on one, he simply addresses the whole office to stop whatever it is he wants stopped.  The sign on his door implying that he does not care about anything we have to say really does not help the situation.

I had a really good workout at the gym last night and it appears my new roommate does not even exist.  She was out until late last night and when she arrived to the room, she went straight to bed.  I was already asleep due to my workout wearing me out, but it was nice that she only turned on a small light and went straight to bed.  The prayers are working!