Lake Kandahar

Due to all the rain we have been getting, Kandahar is officially a lake.  I had to take several detours to work because my regular route was under water.  I almost broke out my rubber CBRNE over boots so I could successfully puddle jump on my way to work.  I thought about it too late though and upon further thought, I didn’t want to remove them from their airtight packaging because then they would take up a lot more space than they already consumed.  I made a comment on my way to lunch to my companions that if I had my galoshes on and my mother was next to me holding my hand, I would be splashing in every one of these enormous puddles.   Oh, the childhood memories! 

We had another event last night that tested our knowledge of operational names and execution here on Kandahar.  This also went to show us that we cannot be contained in an office for a mandated period of time.  As soon as the initial event kicked off, we were stressed out and running around.  We made sure everyone knew what was happening, what was expected of them, and monitored the situation as best we could on our special network. 

Once we had done all we could and were in a holding pattern, the debauchery began.  We started by closing our shop door and creating a smorgasbord along our back counter.  We had Pepperidge Farms cheese and sausage cut up with crackers, prosciutto rolled with cheese and cut into slices, and popcorn.  When anyone not associated with our office walked in, we would yell, “Intruder Alert” until they left. 

We messed around with our office phones and figured out that we could change our ring tones.  We now have “The Imperial March” from “Star Wars” as one ring tone and the other phone yells, “Loud Noises” when it rings (a quote from the movie “Anchorman”).   

Our movement NCO was looking at some recent Intelligence Summary Power Point slides to become educated on the situation while my boss, whose desk is located directly behind him, was using a laser pointer to point out the words typed in Calibri on the slides.  Calibri is a font that our beloved XO despises and always circles in red on anything he is sent to review.  Imagine, my boss using a laser pointer from his desk to point things out on the NCO's computer.

When the “All Clear” was sounded and the night shift crew finally arrived we had to show off our newest discovery.  My boss called the NCOIC’s phone which immediately started yelling, “Loud Noises.”  Then our NCOIC called our boss.  “The Imperial March” began to play and when the NCOIC pushed the speaker button on his phone, our boss commenced with, “Kester….ssshhh…I am your supervisor…sssshhhhh…” in a deep voice.  We were all laughing so hard it started to hurt.