I Smell A Rat!

My boss received a remote controlled rat in the mail today.  Included in the package were batteries and a whole lot of debauchery.  We started small.  We left our half and half door entirely open, welcoming innocent victims into our lair.  Soldiers would enter the office to ask me a question, when normally they would be blocked by half a door.  Ironically, they all stood directly in front of my desk, as if hiding from my officemates, allowing the rat to sneak around the corner of my desk successfully controlled by my boss who was nonchalantly standing next to the square pole in the middle of the office.  There were jumps, screams, and some hilarious “Laud Jesus” phrases said, and we decided to expand our operation.



My Office



Down the hall we conducted some reconnaissance to see who was positioned to become an easy target.  We identified my roommate, the grandmotherly colonel.  She was in the doorway to her office flattening boxes.  Her reaction surprised us though as she exclaimed, “What a cute little rat!”  My boss’s eyes got wide and he had that look as if to say, “What? Did she just call it a cute rat? Why isn’t she scared?” 



Moving on, there was a group gathered in the hallway.  We walked over to the group, hiding the rat, and I wiggled my way into conversation while the remote control controller positioned the rat to enter the crowd behind me through my feet.  Good thing I started a conversation about boots that caused everyone to jump back in surprise! 

I tried to grab the attention of our personnel office, but they were all so concentrated that they did not even notice the rat passing by my feet and their doorway.  The batteries were starting to die at this point so the group of pranksters and I started staring at the rat on the floor in the hallway between the two personnel offices.  The personnel NCO started walking towards her office when she noticed the rat on the floor and jumped back in shock.  Even without batteries, this rat is pretty funny.



In this case...Mr. T



Another joke we have started is drawing mustaches and top hats on people’s pictures on their ID cards.  We don’t really draw on the ID card.  That would be destruction of government property.  We stick a piece of clear scotch tape over the picture and take a sharpie to it.  It has become both a hilarious and a tedious joke.  I left to use the bathroom for two minutes and came back to an ID card with a mustache and a top hat.  Our movement NCO left for a few minutes and returned to an afro on his ID card.  It is a good way to remember to take your ID card with you, but sometimes, you just want to return to a computer that you don’t have to punch a password in to unlock.